Some family just don't belong.

It's a long story. But my before I was born, my family went on a cruise, when they came back, they weren't a family anymore. My grandad had met another woman on the ship, and left my grandmother for her. Everything was different. A year after I was born my Nanna passed away, and i knew no different about what had actually happened with my Pop's wife.. I treated her like family, and felt like i wanted to be like her. I found out just a couple of years ago what she did, and how she tore my family apart. Ever since I knew this I haven't forgiven her once.

Anyway, when my Nanna passed away, she left the family house to my mum and my uncles. We lived there till I was nine, and then mum and i moved out, leaving my uncle there. Time's come where he's being forced to sell the house.. rahrahrah. SO. My step-grandmother, comes into the house and goes through every drawer, picks out new colours for the house, etc, likes it's her own. This might be okay to some people but not to me, the person who tore our family apart, is coming in to the family house acting like she has a right to be there. She doesn't. I really don't get why no other people in my family, except mum, think this is wront? Wouldn't you? Ugh..
RANT. OVER.

Assignments!

Well goodmorning! It's been way too long since I last blogged, haven't even thought about it!
Assignments, assignments, assignments.. it's all i've been thinking about. And to top that off, i'm working every day :( Not the best life. I'm starting to feel really run-down, and i've lost all my energy. No fun. Work has been hectic, i've had to deal with all the crap my manager is handing me. To make matters even worse, i've realised he's been completely bitching about me behind my back, when he makes out like we're close friends. I've really had it with him, honestly. argh!
ALSO. I moved house last week, finally that stress is out of the way. Everything is unpacked, and it feels like home now :)
That's pretty much all, also, to my friends; if i go all moody, it's because i'm tres stressed :(, I really just need a night out :( :(
PS: I think I should study French again, haha.

2009.

Bye bye 2009! How fast has this year gone? For me, I can't believe my first year at Uni is over.. so quick! A lot of things have happened this year.. both balancing out the good and bad.

Lets start with the bad.

-I've lost a couple of really close friends that I probably won't see again, unless by accident.
-The world lost the King of Pop, Michael Jackson. He will always be missed. Still to this day I can't believe that he's gone. It feels like he should still be here.
-Paula Abdul annouced that she was leaving Idol. :(

And the good.

-I've met some amazing people!
-I went to many, many concerts and go to meet some of the artists too :) amazing!
-Twitter happened!
-Turning 18
-Starting Uni
-And I got to spend it all with my best friend!

I loved this year. Although I haven't seen my two best friends every day like in high school.. we make it work. I'm always glad that I have my Luke to share it with though! i dont know what i would do without him! :)
Having said this, 2010 is my year of change. I'm starting this diet, i'm looking for a second job, and im going to be traveling, more and more.
Bring it on!
xoxo

The Good Times.

I've just realised, that i've had a pretty amazing year. Apart from some really crappy times that i've had, there's always the positive that outweighs the negative.
The people i've met this year are wonderful. Especially meeting through Twitter! The main friend that I've made is Corinne! I'm so excited that when I go to LA that i'll be able to meet her.. hopefully! And.. the people that i've talked to on Twitter!
Paula Abdul, All of Ryan Seacrest's producers: Corinne, Natalie, Jessica. E!'s Security guy, Roger, Jordin Sparks, People magazine, Sarah Wilson (ex host of MasterChef), Two brilliant choreographers; Napoleon and Tabitha, KIIS fm...

And then seeing SO many great concerts this year and performers: Veronicas, Metro Station, Short Stack, Pussycat Dolls, Lady Gaga, SYTYCD tour, Jessica Mauboy, Flo Rida, Beyonce, LMFAO, Black Eyed Peas, and soon to see Britney Spears.
Meeting LMFAO was amazing too, and standing next to the BEP. aah.

I'm so lucky enough to have had my best friend be with me for the entirety of it, Luke.
When this year seems like it can't get any worse, I just look back on what sort of a year it's been, and realise that it's been the best year of all.

Empty.

I can't stop crying. Well, tonight at least.
I just feel like i'm empty, like i'm missing everything. I just wish everything was back to they way things used to be. When I was 16 and in year 12. I miss my friends, my best friend, my ex boyfriend, life.
I never thought i'd feel like this. That i'd want to go back in time, but i do. Everything was perfect. I didn't realise that I had everything. And now i'm left with nothing.
I feel like I have any good friends anymore, in Perth, that I can call and easily meet up with. It's just not there. I have friends, but just not the ones you see all the time.
I feel like my best friends from high school are leaving me out of everything. And I always called them my besties, and they did the same. What the hell happened?

I miss my best friend from work, Jordan. I'm literally craving to see him, that even the thought of seeing him gets me happy. I miss him... so, so much it's sad. I want to see him and pick up right where we left off and act like we never were apart from each other.

I miss my ex-boyfriend Matt. I never thought i'd say that but I do. I miss every single thing about him. Our goodnight texts, his touch, his kiss, his voice, his everything. I just wish we didn't end things, neither of us know why we did. I just wish i was still with him.

So, i'm going to try. Try and make things the least bit interesting and move on with my life. I don't know if I can, but i've got to try. I just wish I was living in LA right now and hanging out with Corinne, Jess, and Natalie from KIIS. I know that's where I belong over there with those girlies! :(
I miss my old life.

The Future.

So, I had a really long talk with my mum today about possible job opportunities for the future. Right now, i'm studying a bachelor of hospitality and tourism management to go into hotel management once i finish uni. I always thought this is what I wanted but at this moment i really don't think it is. Maybe events management, or producing. Something that will change everyday and excite me to go to work. I'm not saying that hotel management wouldn't do this, its just that's not what i picture myself doing in the future for ages. I just don't. I want a different sort of job rather than the norm. I want to make something out of my life and not just stand behind a desk for it.

I'm going to change. I'm looking for a new job at this moment, and middle of next year i'm thinking of going to Connecticut for a holiday to see Elodie, or meet her in New York. I just need to get away from this place. Mum even suggested moving with Elodie to London to live for a while.. i'm thinking i will, and then make the move to america. I know that's where I belong, I can just feel it in my bones.

Beyonce!

Last night I went to the Beyonce concert, which opening with Austalian Idol runner-up Jessica Mauboy and then second was Flo Rida. Even the opening acts were brilliant so you knew it was going to be one kick-ass show, and it was!

The opening song was Crazy in Love. The lights went down, the smoke filled the stage and the song began to play, then the light slowly shon on Beyonce. And she just stood there so we could just embrace that one moment. That was seriously an entrance, ive never seen anything like it. The whole concert was mind blowing! With every lyric she sang she had the audience captivated and hanging on her every word. Towards the end of the concert Beyonce flew through the air and began to 'walk on air'. So amazing. Then she graced a small island stage in the middle of the arena. When she performed her encore, Halo, she walked down the front row of the audience shaking their hands and thanking them. She walked back onto the stage and a picture of the late Michael Jackson appeared on the screen, and the crowd went wild! And she changed the lyrics to fit, 'Michael we can see your halo, I pray you won't fade away' Everyone was just still at the moment when she sung those lyrics repeatedly.. it was amazing, I think a lot of people did cry, including me.

That is one concert that I will never forget..