The Good Times.

I've just realised, that i've had a pretty amazing year. Apart from some really crappy times that i've had, there's always the positive that outweighs the negative.
The people i've met this year are wonderful. Especially meeting through Twitter! The main friend that I've made is Corinne! I'm so excited that when I go to LA that i'll be able to meet her.. hopefully! And.. the people that i've talked to on Twitter!
Paula Abdul, All of Ryan Seacrest's producers: Corinne, Natalie, Jessica. E!'s Security guy, Roger, Jordin Sparks, People magazine, Sarah Wilson (ex host of MasterChef), Two brilliant choreographers; Napoleon and Tabitha, KIIS fm...

And then seeing SO many great concerts this year and performers: Veronicas, Metro Station, Short Stack, Pussycat Dolls, Lady Gaga, SYTYCD tour, Jessica Mauboy, Flo Rida, Beyonce, LMFAO, Black Eyed Peas, and soon to see Britney Spears.
Meeting LMFAO was amazing too, and standing next to the BEP. aah.

I'm so lucky enough to have had my best friend be with me for the entirety of it, Luke.
When this year seems like it can't get any worse, I just look back on what sort of a year it's been, and realise that it's been the best year of all.

Empty.

I can't stop crying. Well, tonight at least.
I just feel like i'm empty, like i'm missing everything. I just wish everything was back to they way things used to be. When I was 16 and in year 12. I miss my friends, my best friend, my ex boyfriend, life.
I never thought i'd feel like this. That i'd want to go back in time, but i do. Everything was perfect. I didn't realise that I had everything. And now i'm left with nothing.
I feel like I have any good friends anymore, in Perth, that I can call and easily meet up with. It's just not there. I have friends, but just not the ones you see all the time.
I feel like my best friends from high school are leaving me out of everything. And I always called them my besties, and they did the same. What the hell happened?

I miss my best friend from work, Jordan. I'm literally craving to see him, that even the thought of seeing him gets me happy. I miss him... so, so much it's sad. I want to see him and pick up right where we left off and act like we never were apart from each other.

I miss my ex-boyfriend Matt. I never thought i'd say that but I do. I miss every single thing about him. Our goodnight texts, his touch, his kiss, his voice, his everything. I just wish we didn't end things, neither of us know why we did. I just wish i was still with him.

So, i'm going to try. Try and make things the least bit interesting and move on with my life. I don't know if I can, but i've got to try. I just wish I was living in LA right now and hanging out with Corinne, Jess, and Natalie from KIIS. I know that's where I belong over there with those girlies! :(
I miss my old life.

The Future.

So, I had a really long talk with my mum today about possible job opportunities for the future. Right now, i'm studying a bachelor of hospitality and tourism management to go into hotel management once i finish uni. I always thought this is what I wanted but at this moment i really don't think it is. Maybe events management, or producing. Something that will change everyday and excite me to go to work. I'm not saying that hotel management wouldn't do this, its just that's not what i picture myself doing in the future for ages. I just don't. I want a different sort of job rather than the norm. I want to make something out of my life and not just stand behind a desk for it.

I'm going to change. I'm looking for a new job at this moment, and middle of next year i'm thinking of going to Connecticut for a holiday to see Elodie, or meet her in New York. I just need to get away from this place. Mum even suggested moving with Elodie to London to live for a while.. i'm thinking i will, and then make the move to america. I know that's where I belong, I can just feel it in my bones.

Beyonce!

Last night I went to the Beyonce concert, which opening with Austalian Idol runner-up Jessica Mauboy and then second was Flo Rida. Even the opening acts were brilliant so you knew it was going to be one kick-ass show, and it was!

The opening song was Crazy in Love. The lights went down, the smoke filled the stage and the song began to play, then the light slowly shon on Beyonce. And she just stood there so we could just embrace that one moment. That was seriously an entrance, ive never seen anything like it. The whole concert was mind blowing! With every lyric she sang she had the audience captivated and hanging on her every word. Towards the end of the concert Beyonce flew through the air and began to 'walk on air'. So amazing. Then she graced a small island stage in the middle of the arena. When she performed her encore, Halo, she walked down the front row of the audience shaking their hands and thanking them. She walked back onto the stage and a picture of the late Michael Jackson appeared on the screen, and the crowd went wild! And she changed the lyrics to fit, 'Michael we can see your halo, I pray you won't fade away' Everyone was just still at the moment when she sung those lyrics repeatedly.. it was amazing, I think a lot of people did cry, including me.

That is one concert that I will never forget..

Saturday

I'm so ridiculously excited because not only is it my friends 21st party this weekend, not only am I going to be wearing a dress that i designed.. BUT i'm seeing my old best friend who i haven't seen in over 6 months! I miss him like crazy! We were seriously inseparable Jordan and I.. we did everything together. He was my best friend ever. And no matter if people talked horribly about him, i was always there to be on his side and same with him for me. I'll give you guys the run down on everything!

We started working together around the same time, we totally never spoke for about 2 months but then we started to get to know each other. I think I remember having this serious crush on him too. Haha, but then i got to know him and we became best friends and the 'crush' feelings dropped. We always hung out after work, went to the movies together, I stayed over at his house a couple of times and he was my ball date :) Then the guy I started to date became really good friends with Jordan, so Jordan came out with us more which was awesome. Then a couple of months later, Matt (my ex) and I broke up.. but Jordan stayed on my side, and he hardly saw Matt, instead he was still with me.

Jordan and I always promised that we would stay in contact no matter what happened ever with anything, we pinky promised.. and you can't break that! And then Jordan always said how he was going to quit my Christmas, but he did. Then he said by February, but he didn't. Then out of the blue I saw less and less of him, and he had quit. We talked to each other a little but then it just stopped. The last I remember seeing of him was driving away from a party.. and that's all. We never texted each other again, called, spoke on the internet. It was like because he had quit or friendship had too.

I miss him, seriously miss him. I'm so glad i'm seeing him this weekend because it's been way too long. I didn't ever want to lose a friendship like mine and Jordan's, so i'm hoping it can regain after this weekend. I'll I have is hope for it, and i'm not giving up on that. 6 months has been too long, I miss you.

American Idol

It was just announced only a half hour ago that Ellen DeGeneres would be the permanent fourth judges replacement of Paula Abdul for American Idol season 9. As a huge fan of Paula, it's hard for me to see anyone else join the Idol gang and not have her there. Then again, as a fan of Ellen, I know that she will make the show bearable now that Paula isn't there. Ellen brings everything you could want to a show; and that was especially made clear when she was a guest judge on SYTYCD. Even though they didn't keep it to 3 judges as I would have like for this season, good job Fox on hiring Ellen, you made one good move this year. I think I probably will watch next season, even though I promised I wouldn't, but how can you not with Ellen there, she's just so lovable! Plus, at least it's not some 20-something slore that Simon can flirt with!

Happy Birthday!

It's my best friends birthday today :) We do everything together, he's so much fun to be around. And I don't have a friend just like him who I can go to every single concert with and chat on the phone to for hours about Britney Spears and Gaga! :) I'm so glad he's a part of my life and i hope it stays that way!

Happy Birthday Luke